After five weeks of preparation, it all came down to this day, performing to a live audience for the first time. So much practice and time sunk into this so we could give our all to put on the best show possible.
This was the first of our two performances of the day, and it would be fair to say that we were all pretty terrified of what we were about to do, this was a completely new experience for all of us. In the past I have done some acting and theatrical performances, but that is wildly different from the feeling of playing an instrument in a band and then directly addressing an audience as yourself, no acting, no perfectly rehearsed script.
Not the greatest start for me as instantly a mistake was made. Before we actually started playing “Californication” I didn’t check that my bass actually had any sound on, so when we kicked off the song I was playing but not a soul in that room could hear me; I thought that maybe the issue was on the mixing desk at the back but when I saw Nic coming forward I soon realised there was an error on my part – this is something I learnt from and made sure to be aware of in the evening performance so I avoided a similar fate.
On a more positive note, I think we sounded good. Don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t our best and we were shaky at points, but I believe we did well given the circumstances. I also tried to look out into the audience and seem a bit more confident, which pushed me out of my comfort zone.
For the next song, “Valerie”, I was a little off on timing at points. I’m not sure if it was particularly noticeable to audience members, but I certainly felt that slight mistiming up on the stage. I also feel like we could’ve been a bit tighter as a band, this seemed to be a bit of a theme in this performance, presumably due to our nerves. In the run-up to the day I think our rehearsals were slowed down somewhat and we lost some of the fine control of the songs, causing some sloppiness, to get round this I believe it is important that we do the opposite and rehearse more in the final few days so we aren’t missing a beat when it comes down to it.
One thing that made me very proud was how we handled the song’s structure. It has been well documented that we had a lot of issues regarding this song’s structure and variable verses, but when it mattered most we hit a home run, each of us getting that aspect of the timing spot on.
Our final song was “Locked Out of Heaven”, and I would say one area I could’ve done better was my actual playing, I could hear myself on stage but when I go back and review this performance I am not able to hear the bassline particularly well. This could be a mix of both the technical and the physical; on the technical side I could’ve maybe turned myself up or looked to the mixing desk and asked for a bit more volume, and on the physical side I could’ve played certain parts a bit louder.
On the bright side, I believe this was quite a well put together track and we did it justice. One point to make was that, at some point during this set, I developed a blister on the tip of my right index finger, it was quite painful to keep playing (especially with the intensity of our final track) but I ensured that I did my job and nobody would’ve noticed.
Aside from the music, we have the true performance aspect, which I think we would all agree is a place that every band member could improve. We did sometimes look a bit stiff and a bit awkward due to how tense we were, I think it’s fair to say that the pressure got to us a few times, I know it did for me.
On my end, I was not at all happy with how I handled my speaking role – genuinely unhappy with it as I felt like I made so many errors, which then made me more anxious, causing more errors in my own little feedback loop. I stumbled over myself at times and paused, I would attribute this to anxiety as I was trying to rush my way through the speaking parts to get them over and done with so I could get back to the music, back to what felt more comfortable. In addition to the vocal stumbles, my rushing led to me speaking into a microphone which hadn’t had its levels turned up yet, causing me to restart talking and panic somewhat, red in the face. To avoid this (and the crushing embarrassment I felt) I simply need to slow it all down. Let the audience applaud and wait for it to come to a natural conclusion, by that time my microphone will have been given sound and I can get right into the speech, as opposed to stopping and starting over.
Another mistake I made was leaning down into the microphone when speaking, it made me look smaller and meant I struggled when speaking to look around. To rectify this I could adjust the stand or do what I did in the evening performance, which was just taking the microphone out of the stand. It looked more natural, more comfortable, and allowed me a greater range of movement when speaking, leading to a better performance in that regard.
More successfully, I would say I hit every point that I needed to when addressing the audience. I will admit that I didn’t do it as successfully as I could’ve done, but I got through everything I really needed to. On a more personal note, I am particularly happy with myself here as I have struggled with anxiety in the past and I have an awkward relationship with public speaking, so to get out there and address over 200 people across the two performances was an achievement for myself.
Compared to the afternoon performance, I am enjoying myself more, growing in confidence, and putting out a much better performance. It may not be too visible in this recording but when we were up there, I felt this aura of much more energy, ready for the show.
Again, it’s evident that I’m actually enjoying this performance and smiling more. On top of that, I felt like I was much more relaxed than earlier, allowing me to play better, with much more freedom.
The song I was most worried about due to the intensity of some sections and the blister I acquired earlier, but it didn’t hurt too much and I believe the adrenaline got me through it. At one point I got a bit ahead of myself when playing a part where the bass is most prominent; I tried lifting my bass to add a bit of flair and I missed a note or two. However, I just kept on playing with a smile on my face and I don’t think anybody really noticed.
Overall, the evening performance went incredibly well. I was unhappy with how the afternoon show went so I was a mixture of concern, worry, and stress before walking out but once we started playing, I became much more comfortable and played as well as I ever have done. I also had a much better time in front of the microphone, I waited for the microphone to definitely be turned up, I slowed down my speech, and I mentioned everything I needed to – as well as having a bit of banter with the audience when it felt appropriate. As a unit, we were very tight and confident in our playing. Personally, I don’t think our set could’ve gone much better.
