For my Project One I was away due to an unfortunate event, which lead me to do solo performances instead of being in a group, because I felt like I was letting my team down, So talking it out with Nic he allowed me to choose three songs which were With or without you by U2, Tears of gold by Faouzia, and Happier than ever by billie Ellish. I am not going to talk about the first 1-3 weeks that much because I wasn’t present through that time. I was able to practice through week 3 and 4 with Nic on the piano, learning the songs and the lyrics and being able to perform them. Each song had it’s own challenges, and tears of gold along with Happier than ever I struggled with my breathing, and I was nervous to sing them both for different reasons which made me in confident as a singer. Happier than ever was a good song choice, and It wasn’t like I couldn’t sing the song, it’s that when the Mock Performance came, and I got up on that stage I couldn’t hear myself, and even when they turned me up I realised that the way the song is sang by the original artist, it stifled my ability to project my voice, until the bridge kicked in of course. I realised that if I was going to perform, I wanted to do it with songs I know for a fact I would be comfortable with, No matter how many people were sat in those seats watching me perform.
Another thing in which I experienced in all of the songs was the light being projected onto the stage, it was very bright, and focused, which made the room very hot and stuffy,
which didn’t help me with my nerves, so when I would sing, my glasses would steam up and I would feel like an idiot. So having that problem coupled with the fact I was already shaking and nervous about my songs, It was definitely not a recipe for success. Another issue I noticed was that I psyched myself out, I was overthinking everything until I got on stage, And it showed how closed off and scared I actually was through my performance, I stood there like a statue through the majority of the time. One thing I will mention is that I did try to make eye contact with the audience, and even though I was really scared, I put on the best poker face I had to hide it, and my classmates said it played off.
Not being infront of a stage for a while can make it hard to perform for people again, because I felt like I lost the confidence I had when I first arrived in college, take my first Bradford College performance in Project One, where you had to perform infront of these new classmates you didn’t know, I had more confidence then compared to now, I think reason for that is because I had the time to get used to having a microphone to work with, having a stage to perform on, now I see that recording yourself and performing alone isn’t all there is to it in being a singer or a performer. Theres many things you need to consider, such as how you conduct yourself on stage, your stage presence, how you want the audience to perceive you. What you want to convey to the audience through your music, And the techniques of using a microphone. All of that is important information that I did know, but I never had the proper chance to practice it, and I feel it made and influence in how I performed in the mock performance.
With Tears of Gold, I some of the same issues I touched on when I mentioned Happier than ever, the lighting, the room temperature, my confidence, and my technique. But one of the main issues I had with this song was my breathing, a lot of the issues I mentioned above made it very hard to sing this song to the best of my ability, and I felt nervoud with performing the song because of how much effort it required. Being in the practice rooms has a different environment compared to the stage, and not being familiar with the stage made it an impact on how I was able to perform and it made me overwhelmed.
This is some footage of me and Nic practicing Tears of gold, listening back to this video, even in a more cooler environment, and Not infront of that large audience breathing was still a big issue for me, and listening to the intro the song, it’s clear in my body language and how I quietly sing this song that it stifled my full potential, now I won’t deny, the bridge and chorus of the song were a great challenge for my voice, and it didn’t sound bad at all, But taking in the environment i would be put in the day of the performance and how unsure of the song I was, I eventually changed it. The time that this video was recorded, I didn’t fully feel confident to look away from my phone, I knew all the lyrics, but I felt nervous singing this song, I remember singing it and and being nervous while singing only infront of Nic, and that should’ve been a big sign that this wasn’t the right song for me. The biggest sign was the bridge when I was scared to hit those notes, as I practiced later on I could hit those notes, But it was very hard for me because I was very nervous and I doubted myself heavily.
Singing U2 With or without you, was not hard and is one song which I’ve been consistent about and it’s for a couple of reasons. First of all, the song was easy to learn, and it was easy to perform and require the same amount of energy like Tears of gold or Happier than ever had done. Secondly, this being one of my Dad’s favourite songs, it made it more easy for me to bring out emotions when singing this song, and would help me to connect with the audience. Third of all, it’s something my mother wanted me to sing, and I plan to keep that promise. The song itself been easy to work with, and I got paired with a first year who played on the guitar for the backing music. And it sounded really good together. The student was able to pick up on learning the chords and timing very easily, and it helped a lot with how fast we had to learn the song. And performing that at the kick performance was a lot easier than the other two songs, even though back then I had only learned the song in 3 days, I was able to memorize all the lyrics and perform it as a set with my other songs.
With or Without you was probably the most successful songs out of the previous three, Watching this video I really like how I was able to make the song my own, and how I was more confident in the song even when I was learning the lyrics. I felt like I sounded a lot better in this video compared to my other two songs.
With all the issues in mind about the other two songs, I consulted in my mother for advice in what I should do about the problems. And she suggested that I change the songs. So that’s exactly what I did. I chose songs that made me confident, but also brought out my emotions, the song covers I had produced over the summer had opened up my song options so I picked All I want by Kodaline, a song in which I had produced over the Summer.
[I produced this video and cover using BandLab and Kinemaster Pro, both very good free apps you can download on your phone to create videos.] Since I don’t have any videos of me practicing this song, since it had to he learnt very quickly I have put this video on my digital space instead as a reference to how I have performed it in the past.
And another song I picked was Elastic heart, that I used to replace Tears of a gold, and I feel like it was the better choice, because I sound more confident with this song, I have some video footage of my practicing the song at home.
Practicing at home was something I already did with songs over the summer, because I was trying to improve my setlist, and having these songs on my setlist that I knew I would be comfortable with, made it a lot more easier to sing these songs, as you hear in this video. I enjoy this song more than Tears of gold because I’m able to add an original twist on a song that I emotionally connect with, while tears of gold causes me to have to strain my voice, and made me struggle with breathing, and made me nervous to sing whereas Elastic Heart didn’t.
But overall, Changing my songs for the final performance in my eyes was the best decision, and my mum really likes these songs too, and singing them in the cafeteria at lunchtime made me realize that I can sing those songs, and they can sound amazing. And having that practice over the summer helped me to be able to be more comfortable when picking these songs and listening back on my sessions with Nic and the final performances, you can definitely understand why I decided to change those songs, and why I think the night was a lot more successful because of it.